Believing In Yourself
Many of us struggle with negative thoughts about ourselves—thinking we're not good enough, not attractive enough, not thin enough, and the list goes on. But do you realize how powerful just one negative thought can be? When you constantly tell yourself that you’re not enough, you start to believe it. Over time, you lose sight of your dreams, stop setting goals, and become less productive. These feelings spill over into every area of your life, affecting how you show up each day.
To see different results, you need to start thinking differently about yourself. Remember, God created you with unique abilities that only you can fulfill. That’s why you’re here. You were born with a purpose. If you don’t know what that purpose is, it can be hard to live a life that feels full and meaningful. Why? Because you aren’t walking in the gifts God gave you. It’s only when you begin to live out your purpose that you’ll find real fulfillment and joy in what you do.
Challenge: Take time today to reflect on how God sees you, not how the world does. Write down three unique gifts or strengths He has placed in you, and think about how you can use them to live with more purpose and intention.
I am always available to help you work through the details of finding your purpose again. Do not hesitate to reach out to me.
Abundance
When you choose to live in abundance, you take a step of faith. You are agreeing with God about your life, time, relationship, and money. Abundance is believing you are loved, cared for, and you have everything you need. It is acknowledging that any obstacle along the way is part of the plan.
You have to create abundance on your own. Many times instead of creating abundance, we often choose to ignore the opportunity. You prevent yourself from abundance, when you have the thought, “if this would happen, then…..”. Abundance comes from within not from your circumstances or the job you have. You have to release the need that you are owed something.
The key to abundance is an openness of heart. Soften your heart and surrender to the plan God has laid out for you. God wants to bless you with good gifts. What gift are you resisting? Open your hands. Open your heart. Trust that all will be well.
Living in abundance or scarcity
There are two ways you can live. You can live out of abundance or scarcity. A scarcity mindset is always grasping at everything. This person can never get enough. They are always afraid things will run out.
A person with an abundant mindset looks at what they have and are content. They have enough. There is plenty to go around. Which mindset do you live in? A person who lives in a life of scarcity is never content. They are always working to gain more.
What is your quality of life? You should want the most out of your life. Take time to realize you already have what you need. Create a desire for the things you have already acquired. Live your life in gratitude. An abundant life is about embracing what you have and living in the abundance. Abundance creates the emotions of love, peace, joy, and gratitude. What would happen if you opened your life to this thought? “I already have everything I need.”
You have to create sufficiency and become more resilient through the practice and cultivation of abundance. Stop telling the story that does not serve you and stop making yourself the victim. You must take responsibility for your own emotions and begin writing the narrative for the story you want to create.
-Kelli Banther
8/3/2024
Thoughts create feelings!
The thoughts you think create feelings. Any emotions you may feel are a direct result of the thoughts you are thinking. This is called the thought/feeling pair. You cannot have one without the other. Your thoughts can help you feel however you want on a daily basis. You can create any emotions by what you think.
The scriptures tell us in Philippians 4:8:
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
The writer encourages you to think your highest, most noble thoughts. Those thoughts and the emotions you generate create the quality of your life. The thought/feeling pair create the results you are getting. The creation cycle is thought, feelings, and actions. Philippians 4:8 encourages us to focus on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. It reminds us to fill our minds with positive and uplifting thoughts, leading to a more joyful and fulfilling life. As we intentionally shift our focus to these things, we cultivate a mindset of gratitude, hope, and peace, creating a ripple effect in our daily interactions and overall well-being.
Most people are living in a default mode when it comes to thoughts and feelings. You get stuck in a cycle of fight or flight that causes stress which creates anger, frustration, sadness, and fear. Living in fear is not how God designed us. He designed us to live out of love.
In order to live from the emotion of love you must shift to a new way of thinking and feeling as discussed in Philippians. It is possible for you to shift into a new way of being. Emotions drive us to do everything we do or don’t do. Emotions fuel our lives to keep us stuck or to create. Are you running out of fear or love? The choice is up to you. You get to decide.
Your thoughts and feelings have a direct impact on the actions you take every day. When you become aware of your thoughts and feelings, you gain the power to choose how to respond to them. By understanding this connection, you can begin to make intentional choices that align with your true desires and values. Take control of your inner world, and you will see it reflected in the actions you manifest in your life.
-Kelli Banther
Shine your light!
For God who said, “Let light shine out of darkness, made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6
Let your light shine. You cannot shine your light if it is dim. Dim from the negative thoughts and unprocessed emotions. Dim from disappointments and unmet expectations. Dim from unhealthy eating and lack of exercise. My friend there is hope. You can overcome all of these problems. You need to find your resilience again.
Resilience is the ability to cope, adapt, or bounce back from trauma or hardship. You have resilience deep down. How do I know? I know because you have made it this far in life. You just need some help believing in yourself and letting your light shine again. You need support in finding your way back to an abundant life. I’m here to help. Set up a consultation by contacting me through this webiste.
Dream? Who me?
Have you ever had a dream? You know, the one that is nagging you off and on for years. Every now and again it pops up and says, “HELLO! I’m still here.” Sort of like the Jack in a box you had when you were little. Most of us ignore it and stuff it back down. We are scared to even dare let it take root in our minds. A question that we dare ask. What if it starts to grow and the possibilities are not so scary? Yes. I’m here to tell you that dream can become a reality.
You are never too old to dream. The problem is we let our brains trick us into thinking we cannot do the hard things and begin to carry out our dreams. I am here to help you achieve the dream. It starts with one goal at a time. It starts with belief that you are able to reach that goal. It starts with you and your mindset.
Your brain wants to feed you all the reasons why you are not equipped to achieve the dream. It says things like "You are not good enough” or “ you don’t have what it takes”. And the sad thing is we believe it. Do you know why it serves up these negative thoughts? The job of the brain is to keep you safe. It likes to conserve energy. When you dream, you make your brain work. It’s a sneaky little devil. We have allowed the brain to serve up negativity so long that it just becomes the way of life.
GET OUT OF THAT CYCLE! Start now. Begin to be curious about why you haven’t ever stepped out of the comfort zone and went for that dream. Begin to ask yourself what it would take for you to attempt to accomplish the dream.
What? You can’t do it alone. Then let me come alongside of you and help you slowly begin to awaken your mind, body and soul to the dream inside. I’m here waiting. You just have to grab my hand and trust that I can help you become the person you are created to be.
Think, think , think
Thoughts are a part of our daily existence. We think on average around 60,000 thoughts per day. That is mind blowing. Right? So many times the majority of our thoughts are negative. Why? You may ask. That’s an easy answer. Our brains like to conserve energy. They like to serve up negative thoughts so they won’t have to work as hard. When we are thinking in a negative way, we do not have to work hard. We usually are scrolling on social media, shopping online, or over-eating. All of those things bring about a short lived dose of dopamine. That’s what we want. We want an easy fix without having to do anything hard. None of those things require energy.
Now let’s think about what positive thoughts bring us. They produce thoughts that motivate us. Looking at things with the glass half full brings about hope. When we begin to produce a more positive mindset, the brain has to kick into gear. We begin to have ideas, creativity flourishes, and we start to dream. The brain has to start using energy and generate many new thoughts. Basically, you are re-training your brain.
Why does this happen? Your thoughts determine the life you live. You either have negative thoughts that keep you hindered and stuck or you have positive thoughts that produce motivation to become all you can be. The choice is yours. You are probably thinking how do I start this change in mindset. Well, take your thoughts captive. Explore why you are having this negative mindset. Determine the root cause. Process the emotions it is causing. Move forward to become a better person and give the world all you have to offer.
My coaching can help you through this process. Do not be afraid. Take the leap of faith. Sign up for coaching today and learn how to take your thoughts captive to become the best version of yourself. Come on and test the waters. I’m waiting. You will be glad you did. Sign up for a consultation today.
Nurture from love
Nurture is the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something. Do we nurture from a place of love or a place of fear? We should nurture from a place of love. Nurturing from a place of true compassion for the person and/or the situation. I love my family and I try to nurture them well. However, I could do better. What does that look liken you may ask. It may be cooking their favorite meal. You may buy their favorite snacks to have on hand when they need a little energy. or pick me up. It could look like cooking their favorite meal because they have had a hard day. Meaningful conversations when your loved one or friend is going through a hard time is a great way to nurture. Your home being clean and inviting is nurturing the people who enter the door. We make our home warm and inviting so others feel safe and secure. Our home should be a place where others call it home and smile. Home should be the one place they step in and feel nothing but peace and love.
“If you want to keep a relationship, you must nurture them with love.”
To nurture a relationship is to create a space that is judgement free. Leave all your opinions and “you really should’s” at the door. Usually what most people need is just you giving them love and compassion. They don’t want preconceived notions or how you think they should have handled something. Sometimes to nurture is to just show up and be there. Be there with all your love and be willing to pour it out onto the person you are nurturing. In doing so, you are conveying that they are enough. You meet them where they are (and where they are is okay). In the moment of difficult situations or conversations, someone must drop the rope. Are you willing to be that person? Dropping the rope means to stop playing tug o war with the other person. Just decide I’m goin to be the person that loves you even if you do not want me to or agree with me. I may not agree with all you are doing and saying but I am going to stop pulling against you. Why do we do this? We do this because of love. We do this because we are called to nurture from a place of love.
Navigating the hard
Sometimes life does not meet up to your expectations. Did you hear what I said? “Life does not meet up to your expectations.” You cannot set expectations where other people/relationships are concerned. Expectations are a pre-determined resentment. You set yourself up for so much pain and disappointment because things did not turn out the way you wanted. You expect others to say, perform, or think a certain way. When they do not, you become disappointed things are not turning out the way you envisioned.
Whether it is a friend, children, husband, or parent, they are their own person. Instead of setting expectations, you should create a relationship for autonomy. The people in your life are not there for you to control. Allowing the people you love to have more freedom creates more connection in the relationship. It’s not fair to meet them with judgement or criticism at every turn. You will create resentment and push them away when you present in this way.
Your responsibiity is to create a safe place where the relationship can blossom and grow. Show up with love and compassion not with resentment and judgement. Let your people know you are their biggest supporter and cheerleader no matter the choice they have made (even when you do not agree with it). You will create a closer relationship when you show up in love and compassion.
Put down that heavy backpack!
Put down that heavy backpack! Step into a life of fun, peace, and purpose. You can do it! I can help you start the journey.
Hey girl. Why are you wearing that heavy backpack? Oh. It is full of emotions that are weighing you down. Well, are those emotions serving you or do they have you stuck? Is the heaviness too much to bear?
Emotions are something that everyone experiences. God gave us emotions to feel love, be vibrant, and live joyfully. He also gave us negative emotions. These emotions far too often leave us feeling unworthy, defeated, and sad. Did you know the negative emotions can bring about good. Negative emotions when properly processed can teach lessons that bring us wisdom. Negative emotions can be used to make us aware of the emotions we actually want to generate.
When you are ready to sit with and feel those negative emotions, they lose power. They no longer have control over you. On the other side of a negative emotion is wisdom. Wisdom can show you what part you have played in allowing the emotion to control your life. It can also help you reframe your thoughts around that emotion.
Stop being weighted down by the heavy load! Choose today to begin unpacking those emotions you are carrying around. Choose today to become unstuck. Choose today to allow yourself to dream! You are worth it!
Think on these things!
It all begins with an idea.
In Phillipians 4:8 Paul says,
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever Is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.
Thoughts:
I completed a word dig to determine the meanings of each one of these words.
True - accurate, correct, honest
Noble- virtuous, having high moral principles
Right - just, fair, equitable, morally good
Pure - free from harshness, clean, spotless
Lovely - exquisitely beautiful, delightful, pleasant
Admirable - deserving respect, reverent, worthy
Praiseworthy - commendable, honorable, excellent
Feelings:
True thoughts = pensive and content
Noble thoughts = respected and appreciated
Right thoughts = satisfied and worthwhile
Pure thoughts = nurturing, thankful, and love
Lovely= relaxed, content, aware, and delightful
Admirable = satisfied and valuable
Praiseworthy = hopeful, joy, love, peace, creative, and energetic
Actions:
When we experience any of the above feelings it propels us to move forward, dream, and create. Do not stay stuck if you are in a negative thought cycle. Today is the day for you to wake up and begin again!
